It's a Long Road to Freedom

Student A hates doing written work.  It seems his brain is wired to numbers and math things which are thought to be sufficiently representing everything in this world, at least his own world.

Language is disastrous especially required performance, at school or in the workplace, of interpersonal communication.  

Student A dares not finding out what exactly the problems are hindering his College life, both in terms of study and social success.   When he came to see me with his parents, I understood that he was not ready to recognize the deadlock he was stuck.  That deadlock was about fear of fear. He fears to manage his written difficulty.  But then he tried to convince himself that attainment in Math and Science could bring him fortune.   The more basic tasks (e.g. self knowledge, task management etc etc) one fears to acquire, the stronger the sense of learnt helplessness.  

   

Gifted Education (DIY)

How does Zippy feel about changing school?  I meant changing from an International School to a local school where the school culture is very different.  What makes him happy about going to school every morning?  

The answer is making his own Gifted Education DIY for Classroom Use.  Possible?  Yeah. Nothing is impossible.  The only thing, I guess, is doing it creatively.

Zippy's mom is preparing worksheets for her son.  The worksheets derive their themes from the textbook.  The items of these worksheets include a relatively wide range of thinking skills across levels of abstraction or conceptual complexity.  

Zippy, after completion of regular learning materials, will move to the small group study corner, to work with two other advanced learners in the class. These students will concentrate on the HOMEMADE worksheet demanding higher level thinking skill and use of language.  

The mom is definitely understanding and supportive enough to work with the class teachers to share the workload of optimizing the learning and development of gifted children in regular classroom.  The teachers will have the gifted learners finished the basic learning materials that are required as target of teaching and content of assessment. 

Afterwards, the advanced learners, about three including Zippy, will be working on the same HOMEMADE stuff. These learners are expected to do brainstorming, outlining main themes and collect further information prior to writing their own stuff.  These students do not have to worry about not enough time to do QUALITY work because they have several lessons to complete their work as long as they complete the regular learning materials.    

To quote an example, while the classmates concentrate on the learning activities developed from the textbook materials about Food Festival, Zippy and his two peers, are given materials to read about food festival information of several countries because it challenges the reading skill of these advanced learners.  

More importantly, the worksheets require these students to choose their own favorable food festival to introduce to the Hong Kong kids and to explain why.  In addition, the students will describe what special activities they would use to attract more kids to come, enjoy and learn with their friends or family.

Let's see how things are going next week.  Just can't wait to hear from Zippy, his mom and the Teacher.  

ADHD

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Every single time parents whose children were diagnosed by medical doctors for ADHD, were very worried and feeling so unsettled.  

It takes time for them to accept the diagnosis.  Without treatment acceptance, it is not possible to start any effective treatment.  My job is to help parents and the affected individual understand the neurobiological basis of ADHD, find out how the ADHD conditions affecting people in different ways, and explore their personal experience. 

Most importantly, the clients need to reflect on the impact of ADHD on their daily life activities and, above all, interpersonal relationship, particularly their family life.   

Despite the advancement of research, practice and efficacy of medical treatment, the readiness of people to recognize, accept and adhere to the intervention of ADHD conditions is always an issue.  At this point, amongst others, it is essential that mental health professionals will face the fear of the public especially the affected individuals, to pursue the efficacious treatment of ADHD. 

Mixed Blessings of Two F.5 Graduates

After the release of 2008 public examination results, I had a very complex feeling regarding the future development of two female clients. One of them got all subjects failed except the Chinese Language.  The other one earned 5 distinctions and 4 credits.  The former one said that she hated the idea of taking the public exam results as her true abilities therefore she didn't take the whole thing seriously in the past two years.  The other one was so surprised by such good results that she wanted to seriously think over her educational advancement and personal growth.  In the past few years, she had been emotionally dependent on her boyfriend who turned out to be bullying her in many different ways, putting her down and intensified her self doubt and low self esteem.  The positive results of her public exam were so shocking that she questioned herself if she deserved such poor self esteem and a bully boyfriend who treated her so bad.  Later, it was discovered that my client displayed significant delay in her social cognition (e.g. self knowledge, understanding others, taking perspectives, assert for personal right, comprehension of social cues, self reflection, goal-directed behavior etc etc) and that affected social decision making.  In other words, she could easily become a target of bullies.  The girl who got very poor exam results, came from a grass root background and received close guidance and behavioral coaching from her parents.  Her social competence was fine.

Amongst others, she was aware of her blindspot and openminded enough to seek on-going 

self improvement.  At the moment, she was doing psychosocial intervention to manage her

compulsive thoughts and anxious mood (i.e. all-or-none thinking, negative self beliefs etc).

Both of these two girls had very high potentials.  Their future is absolutely not determined by their examination results.  As their personal growth and self improvement in making decision

and analysing things show significant progress, they can make a turn point in their educational,

career and personal growth.   

So what makes a young adult successful in their learning and personal growth? What does the

public exam performance tell us about the individual needs of these young adults? And what not?  In a word, it is love, care and timely support most fundamental of all.  That's what I learnt from my clients, however young and innocent.

Tips for Form 5 Students (Good News 2)

A Form 5 student is feeling confused or kind of 'disoriented' when s/he is making decisions, be it concerning with subject choice or school choice for AS or A Level, after receiving the Hong Kong School Certificate from the school.   

Congratulations! it is normal, typical and no harm at all.  The fact that both primary and secondary school education has not prepared the school-aged students to make adequate decisions to optimize their chance for academic, social, career and life success, causes so much stress and suffering.   

It is not necessary for young adults to go through that much pain.  Struggling with decision making, even without appropriate training to manage this stage of personal growth, has waken up so many young people from a 'examination-driven' educational environment of schools.  And these young people, after receiving their CERT, are expected to make adequate decisions for themselves without much nurturing or capacity building on self understanding, options exploration, interests search and knowledge about Person-environment fit.... Overnight, they become grown ups, at least they are expected to be.

The good news is..... in the long run, a life-long learner has to merge individual interests, intellectual ability, problem solving skills, field experience, friendship experiences, and advanced training to transform into a unique skill set, special tools and expertise to serve the wider community.  

My experience is to FOLLOW your genuine interests.  Only by doing so, you can earn as much professional and personally relevant information and accumulate powerful network and expertise to stand on your own feet, stand up for a meaningful course, speak up for those you serve and grow up as a person with integrity and inner fulfillment.

Don't worry about the confusion, lack of confidence and even kind of 'disorientation', we are all like that at different times of our life.  It is okay.  It is normal. You will be fine.  Inner directions? Clear direction?  No one can give you the right answer.  This is a very personal question.  Nonetheless....

Mother Theresa once said that our inner direction is where we experience the deepest inner joy.  

Tips for Form 5 Students (Good News 1)

The day we received the certificate in the school, our principal, an Irish sister (Catholic Nun) 

told us that how well we did on the public exams should not be seen as anything significant to, 

at least 3 figures in our lives.

First, your husband

Second, your children

Finally, your father in heaven

We laughed.  I have to express my heartfelt gratitude to our principal. She made us learn to take things, however significant, in perspectives.  The most consoling message is that IN LOVE,

NO FEAR.  

As a father...

it is hard to share personal feelings, be they positive or negative, with others.  Nowadays, men are expected to share the responsibilities of taking care of the children and house chores.  Even more challenging, at times impossible, is to deal with the emotions and needs of our spouse and children.  

To what extent, do men need stress reduction techniques? How do they manage the parenting stress?